They'd fill the open air and leave teardrops everywhere.

Ahhh getting a day off of school is like winning the lottery... except when its impossible to go outside and play in the snow. It hasn't stopped snowing since 6:30 last night. Well, it kinda sleeted for like 2 or 3 hours this afternoon. Besides that it is still snowing. If you are religious, pray for another snow day tomorrow.

I will be the first to say that I'm not a religious person. I havn't been to church in, well, I don't even know how long, I use the lord's name in vain regularly, and I have never sought comfort from prayer under regular circumstances. I can only remember preying for dier reasons, and even then it didn't make me feel any better. But I still did it, maybe it's the way I was raised. Go to church on Sunday's, pray when needed, but other than that, don't give a fuck.

I'm saying this because lately I have found myself drawn into prayer again. Dad came home from work the other day, took his shower, and when he came out he told my Mom that he was worried that his foot might be gangrenous. He was diagnosed with diabetes 6 years ago, and since then we have all had the fear that he might, one day, loose his feet or legs. But none of us were prepared for it to be this early. Dad has tried to take care of his feet, but he hasn't really worried about his sugar levels, or his medicen, which might just be his problem. He has a doctor's appointment some time this week, and it's never good when he make's the appointments himself. It usually means he is scared, and looking for help. Dad's not the kind of person that share's his problems regularly. I guess I get that from him.

I'm not the emotional type of person. The last time I cried was last spring, and the only reason I cried then was because I couldn't beat the shit out of my sister because she was pregnant. I was pissed off, but I couldn't hit her, and that just turned to blind rage, so I went upstairs and punched a few walls. I had to punch the walls upstairs because they are really thick, and I wasn't worried about breaking them and having the pay for them.

Okay then, that's enough about my personal problems. This weekend I spent all of it with Annie, who is my friend that moved to Lawrence, and I hardly ever get to see her anymore. Brooklyn also spent some of the weekend with us, but apprently it was enough, because now Brooklyn and Annie are dating. It kinda weirded me out at first, because they are both my friends, but now I'm okay with it, I mean, they make a cute couple! Annie thought it would be weird, but I have know about gay people since I was 5 or 6 when I walked in on my uncle making out with his boyfriend. So I told her it would be fine, just as long as they don't make out in front of me, they can kiss, but no full on make out sessions allowed. lol

I'm kinda glad there was no school today, because that would mean that I would have Mrs. Cleavinger's class, and I didn't do my homework. But this also means that I don't get to have Mr. Polson's class. College english is fun, much more so than Advanced lit. We get to have fun class discussions about calling Mr. Polson mean and sometimes hurtful names. In Advanced lit all we do is read and play board games on Fridays. If there is a snow day tomorrow, I want one on Thursday too, only so that I don't have to have Cleavinger. I hate that... Bad word.

Peace out, cub scout!

I'm a reckless goddamn son of a bitch.

So I'm not sure if I have mentioned it, but we finally got our new van, which means I get to drive once again. Now I will be the first to admit that my old van had problems, like turning itself off while you are at a stoplight in the middle of traffic hour, there was no radio (somebody stole it), you couldn't roll the windows down all the way, there was no air conditioning, and the back door didn't open. But my new van tops even all of that, I have no air conditioning OR heat, the little bit of heat I do have can only be used in extream cases of FROZEN WINDSHEILD, and it still dosn't help, I can't let it idle too much, because it gets overheated. I can't roll the drivers side window down (its a hand crank window) without effort, and I can't get it down more than half way, the drivers side door dosn't close, we finally got it to close, but now we can't open it, its 5 feet longer than my old van, which sucks going around right hand turns, the headlights go out about once a week, and need to be replaced, the water has to be changed every 3 days, the oil every 3 months, if your lucky. But its a car, right?

Well enough about that, lets see if I can come up with anything interesting that has happened over the last couple of days. Well, I got yelled at about my pants. I'm one of those people who like to wear ripped up jeans, and I only have one pair of jeans that are ripped up, so they are just really ripped. I have worn these jeans at least twice a week since the school year started. And just this monday Mr. Bogard stopped me in the hallway and tell's me that the rip is too high on my thigh, and that there has to be 5 inches between the top of the rip and the waist of my paints, I measured, its 6 and a half inches. He told me he didn't care, and that I was to pin them up or go home. So I made it flashy, with 6 pins closing it up, left them in for about 2 or 3 classes, then took them out. He didn't say anything about it every other time he saw me that day. I'm wearing the jeans again tomorrow, and I'm wearing blue plad boxers under them. :D

We had an Acholics' Anonymous meeting in Teens Today. Mrs. Walbridge left Brad and I in charge of the class, and we got everybody to participate. We had pill poppers, acholics, sex addicts, people addicted to crystal meth, and Colton was addicted to viagra. Then we split up into our groups, and cooked. My group made a cheese cake. It looked delicious. I wanted to eat it all up.

Today we did a very interesting (fun?) activity in College English. Mr. Polson had us write down all the mean or hurtful names that we have been called in the past. The top of my list was things my parents had said to me, because we all know it hurts more comming from your parents. After that, we wrote down all the things we had said about, or to, another person. There was some pretty interesting things on my list. It really got me thinking about how often I say things to other people. And it didn't help that Kyle, who was sitting right next to me, had NOTHING on his paper. He really is a nice guy, and I can really believe that he has never said something hurtful about somebody, or about him. He dosn't talk much, so thats a plus for him. Right after class Alan pushed me in the hallway, and I called him a mother fucking basterd, and then I laughed, because, well, I thought it was funny.

As always nothing interesting happened in Mrs. Cleavinger's class. We answered questions, did some labs, got into new groups, and did more labs. By the end of class we were all starving, and had to pee. Thanks Dr. C, for having the most boring class ON THE PLANET!

Then came lunch, were all the gossip happens, Miranda was annoyed by AJ, AJ and Malissa are dating (again... last time they were "dating" AJ ended up prego, by some DUDE! So much for being lesbian.), Malissa was annoyed with Nichole, Ashlee was being mean to Jessica, Jessica was making faces at Nichole behind her back, Nichole was making faces at Taylor behind HER back, and I was right in the middle of it. We all sit at the same table, and that might just be a mistake.

Advanced Lit was interesting, as usual, boring as hell, but interesting all the same. Mr. Polson was angry that somebody had stolen his Beef Sticks, and had EATEN them and left the package for him to find, the basterds! My ice pack was stuck in the freezer (it wouldn't have been if Mr. Polson hadn't stolen it 2 weeks ago.), and Mr. Polson had to use a screw driver and the DOME CRACKER(!) as a chissle to extract it. There was ice everywhere. When he finally got it out he had such a look of satisfaction on his face Lenzi took a picture of it. Nichole got hit in the eye by Tyler, then ran into the door because she couldn't see. Lenzi was searching for money, Mr. Polson wouldn't let her go find some, then he gave her a doller, because he is just that cool (sometimes). After a while, I tried to read (the best book ever! according to Mr. Polson), but its really boring right now, maybe it will get better... hopefully.

We had an Art Club meeting today, to elect officials. I got treasurer. For some reason I always get treasurer, when ever I volenteer to be a leader in a project. In the 5th and 6th grades we had this fake city thing we always did, and I was always the treasurer, we would make extra sheets of the "money" and sell it for homework answers. Then we all had to come up with something to sell. Me and Courtney decided to make stress balls out of flour and balloons. We sold them for $3 a piece, and for an extra doller we would poke a hole in it so that it would explode when you threw it at somebody. We made more money than everybody else. We were devious, and I still am! :D

Well thats about all.

HARRY POTTER FOR PRESIDENT!

Dear agony, please let go of me.

So today pretty much sucked cow nipples. We had to drive to Wichita to pick up my Dad's new van. David was supposed to drive the old van back, but he got really drunk last night, so I had to go with him to make sure he didn't crash. So much for seeing my sister's new baby, or getting to try some delicious banana margarita's.

Let me tell you this, spending 2 and a half hours alone in a car with David is not my idea of a fun weekend. At least not until somebody teaches him that talking car dosn't make for a good conversation piece when in the car for that amount of time. And when he wasn't talking about car's, he was talking about the shit hole that has become his life recently. Let's discuss that now, shall we?

David got married last December, to his girlfriend of 4 years. They lived with her mother for the first 5 months. In May they moved in with us, and lived with us until September, when they got their own apartment. David had a few house warming parties, inviting over some of his friends from work. Thats where his wife, Stephanie, met his (former) friend Matt. A few weeks later, David woke up to go to work, and found a note from Stephanie saying that she was leaving him for Matt, and that she was taking their daughter with her. David freaked out, and took 3 days off of work. Matt was fired for jack-assing around instead of working, which was good, because David was about to beat the shit outta him if they hadn't fired him. And this morning Stephanie asked David if she could move back in with him. He said that he didn't think that it would work out because of how much she had hurt him, and that he would think about it. Well that didn't go over well. Stephanie called him a few hours ago and told him that if he didn't let her move back in, that she was going to file for divorce first, and recomend that he get NO visitation rights, and she would make sure that he didn't have any money left over at the end of the month.

Thats not even all of it. She also told him that he was a bad father, that he didn't deserve to be happy, and that she should get an opinion on anybody that he would like to date. Her mom even told her that she needs to butt the hell out of his life, and let him move on, because she didn't seem to have a problem moving on. God I hate people like her. People that just love drama, and causing it. The only time they don't like drama is when its all about them, in a bad way. If they are getting positive attention from it, then it dosn't fucking matter to them. But if its the least bit negiative, the start acting like the victom. I know a lot of people that act like that, and they make me want to punch a baby.

I ABSOLUTELY hate people that do stuff for attention. Like the people that cut themselves for attention. You can always tell them from people that cut themselves for other reasons. If they are doing it for attention, they cut on the top of their arm's, near the elbow, or on the muscle, and they always cut horizontly. People that do it for other reasons, like they are depressed, always cut right on the wrist, and always cut vertically. They are the one's that do it for real, or hoped to do it for real, but didn't quite succeed. Then there are the people that cut becasue of the pain, and the blood. They tend to cut in places you can't really see it, like on their upper thighs, or their upper arms, if they tend to wear long sleeves.

I also hate people that start shit, with no intention of going through with it. I can't count all the times that somebody has picked a fight with me, and they never showed up. They are all talk, and no action. I just want to teach them a major lesson, by knocking their fucking heads in.

Sorry, I'm just in a really bad mood. I needed to vent.

Thinks for listening to all my bullshit! :D

you get your fix from confrontation

I hate the holidays. For most families its a joyus time for sharing, and spending time with loved ones. For my family, its all about the fighting. Its not even Thanksgiving Day yet, and my mom has started crying, my dad has yelled at me to do something 5 times, and my brother has decided to bring his daughter to our house.

Every year we have to try and keep my mother from freaking out. Nothing ever helps, and she always ends up crying, screaming, and throwing stuff. Every year David retreats to the comfort of his room, and leaves me to deal with it by myself. If my sister has done anything smart in her life, its this, she hasn't been around for Thanksgiving for 5 years running. She's lucky she dosn't have to deal with it.

In lighter news, we beat Mr. Polson in Trivial Persuit yesterday, he says it was a tie, but WE got our piece of the pie WAY before he did, so we technally won the game. I think that was the funnest day in his class in a long time. Which reminds me, I have this really awesome friend named Kenneth, and he is in that class. Happy now, Kenneth? lol

My cat damn near caught a mouse a little while ago. It was funny, because he tried to get under the couch, and he is WAY too fat to fit under there. I congratulated him by telling him he almost did good, not quite, but almost.

Well, THEY are yelling at me again. Gotta go do an obscene amount of unnecessary work.

Unhappy holidays to everybody.

When life hands you lemons, squeez the juice in other people'e eyes'

Right now I am forcing down my dinner. I don't like to eat, but its necessary to live, so I tend to eat as little as possible. Today I had a sandwich, some tortilla chips, and... whatever I'm having for dinner. Mom SAYS its chicken pompai, but I don't believe a word she says. It's ok, but it has a lot of texture, and not in a good way.

I had to take an advanced bio. test today. I'm pretty sure I flunked it, but what eva, I do wat I want! lol, so gangster. I started my paper for college english, which sucked. And for some reason Mr. Polson smelled my shoes. It was kinda creepy. I guess I lied in the former paragraph, I had pie for breakfest. But only like 4 bites, because most of them tasted like ass, and the pie that was good was still frozen, thank you Mrs. Walbridge. We did get to make ice cream, which didn't set up right, and was more like a milkshake. Plus there was WAY too much vanilla in ours, so I dumped what was left in Mr. Polson's trash can.

We got to have a very special scholars' bowl parctice. It was students v.s. teachers. We were pretty much fairly matched. And one round we should have won, we lost because Clare forgot to clear the buzzer, and Mrs. Cleavinger buzzed in ahead of Brad. It was bullshit, and the question should have been thrown out, but Mrs. Booth dosn't play by the rules when its all about her friends.

I threw on the wheel for the first time today, that was interesting. Mz. Scott kept calling me chicken arms, and nothing I tried worked. So I just gave up. Ceramics has never been my strong point, so I havn't really made anything in a really long time. What ever, I don't really care. I'm a perfectionest non-compleater.

Mr. Polson smells... sorry, I couldn't come up with anything witty to say.

Sorry if I smell like a bar... Jessica's family is good company to keep

So I saw New Moon this weekend. Countless shirtless scenes, rushed plot-lines, and a few corney scenes later, it wasn't a half bad movie. There were a few times I wanted to slap the director in the face, and tell him to learn to make a movie, but it was pretty good none the less. Jacob was pretty freaking hot, and I wanted to lick the water right off his shoulders. It was funny too, lots of jokes said at just the right time. I think this director was much better then the last one, I truthfully didn't like Twilight AT ALL. But what eva, I do what I want.

Apprently I'm right, but for some reason, it feels like its a worthless win. Keeping to my word I would like to formally appoligize to Mr. Polson for all the mean, and sometimes hurtful, things I have said about, and to, him over the last couple of days. I havn't been feeling well, and it was effecting my mood. And now I feel really bad, because I found out that something happened to Mr. Polson's mother, who just had surgery a few days ago, and he had to take her to the hospital. My condolences.

I'm very surprised in myself. This week I have literally smoked less than I did last Saturday alone. I was very shocked to find this out. Not once since I started to smoke regularly have I done that before. Maybe that's why I was in such a bad mood this past week... We may never know. However, Nichole did piss me off. But thats a story for another paragraph.

She broke into my locker and stole my makeup and nail-polish. Then she stole it again during Advanced Lit. and didn't even tell me. I guess it didn't tip her off that I was pissed at her when I called her a bitch and told her to stay the hell out of my stuff. Maybe if I had slamed her head into the brick wall, like I wanted to, that would have made my point more clear. But you can't win them all, can you?

OMFG I got to meet Jessica's step-brother for the first time face-to-face this weekend, can you say SEXY?! Unlike Ashlee, though, I tend to be more comfertable around people I don't know, and was able to really get to know him in the short time I got to spend with him. He is HILARIOUS, and gergous, and really nice. Plus we have a similar taste in music, and he was the only person to really like my new nail-polish, which, if I do say so myself, is AWESOME! He's an actor, and a model, and he works at the CheeseCake Factory, so he always smells delicious. His room is a mess though, that's something that really bothered me. I couldn't even walk in there, and there were dirty underwear on the middle of his bed. GROSS!

Oh well, if I think of more things to add I will do so in another post.

Fuzzy kittens rule the world.

The bottle of Beam kept the memories from me

Cry in your emo cornor, jack ass! lol, funist part of my day! Well, not really, but it was pretty freaking funny. And I know I'm still right, and your wrong, so just admit it, and tell me your sorry, and I will stop calling you bad names, otherwise, I'm not going to stop. :D

I'm kinda happy! We didn't have to take our Biology test today, so I'm taking back all the mean things I said about Mrs. Cleavinger yesterday. (And I would apoligize to Mr. Polson too, if he would admit I'm right...) She gave us an extra day of review, and we re-took a quiz that EVERYBODY in the class failed, and I missed it by 1 FREAKING POINT! That ticked me off. After that my blood sugar started to go low, because I tend not to eat anything until lunch, which sucks on purple days, because I have late lunch, and therefor don't eat until 1.

Mrs. Cleavinger laughed today, I mean ACUTALLY laughed. She dosn't laugh often, espically when its about jokes made by her students. But the joke Nichole told today got her laughing. It goes a little something like this:

We were sitting at table 6, by the door. Nichole was dizzy, and I was seeing lights, and shaking really bad. Mrs. Cleavinger walked by and asked what is wrong, so we told her. She told me that my blood sugar was most likely low, and that she recomended I eat something before her class from now on. Nichole then asked what was wrong with her. Mrs. Cleavinger told her it was most likely a virus. Nichole then says, "Those dang viruses! I can't pass their quizes, and now they are bothering me!" Which is funny only because Nichole has taken the Virus quiz 6 times, and has yet to pass it. HAHAHA, only funny if you were there, I guess.

We didn't really do much else today. But I did find a stray tampon in the girls bathroom. Just in case, I guess. It wasn't used, it was just a tampon, in it's wraper, sitting on top of the trashcan. Isn't that thoughtful?

I made a pie in Teens Today, it was freaking tasty too. I firmly believe that anything with whipped cream in it is delicious! Then we got into talking about beastility, and things just went down hill from there. Don't even ask how we got to talking about it, I wouldn't be able to tell you if I tried.

I dug a hole too! That wasn't really fun, and I got dirt, and vasalene all over my hands. Not a good mix, trust me. I also got in a mud fight, and accidently got mud in Chandler's eye, my bad. The reason we were digging holes was so that we could place the stepping stones in the senior sidewalk.

Well, that's about all I did. I'm going to go see NEW MOON tomorrow night, and I'm UBER excieted about that! I like the Twilight Saga, but I don't like the merchandization of it. I hate the fact that it has become a product, and all that crap.

What ever, I'm outtie 5000 homedogs.