Dear agony, please let go of me.

So today pretty much sucked cow nipples. We had to drive to Wichita to pick up my Dad's new van. David was supposed to drive the old van back, but he got really drunk last night, so I had to go with him to make sure he didn't crash. So much for seeing my sister's new baby, or getting to try some delicious banana margarita's.

Let me tell you this, spending 2 and a half hours alone in a car with David is not my idea of a fun weekend. At least not until somebody teaches him that talking car dosn't make for a good conversation piece when in the car for that amount of time. And when he wasn't talking about car's, he was talking about the shit hole that has become his life recently. Let's discuss that now, shall we?

David got married last December, to his girlfriend of 4 years. They lived with her mother for the first 5 months. In May they moved in with us, and lived with us until September, when they got their own apartment. David had a few house warming parties, inviting over some of his friends from work. Thats where his wife, Stephanie, met his (former) friend Matt. A few weeks later, David woke up to go to work, and found a note from Stephanie saying that she was leaving him for Matt, and that she was taking their daughter with her. David freaked out, and took 3 days off of work. Matt was fired for jack-assing around instead of working, which was good, because David was about to beat the shit outta him if they hadn't fired him. And this morning Stephanie asked David if she could move back in with him. He said that he didn't think that it would work out because of how much she had hurt him, and that he would think about it. Well that didn't go over well. Stephanie called him a few hours ago and told him that if he didn't let her move back in, that she was going to file for divorce first, and recomend that he get NO visitation rights, and she would make sure that he didn't have any money left over at the end of the month.

Thats not even all of it. She also told him that he was a bad father, that he didn't deserve to be happy, and that she should get an opinion on anybody that he would like to date. Her mom even told her that she needs to butt the hell out of his life, and let him move on, because she didn't seem to have a problem moving on. God I hate people like her. People that just love drama, and causing it. The only time they don't like drama is when its all about them, in a bad way. If they are getting positive attention from it, then it dosn't fucking matter to them. But if its the least bit negiative, the start acting like the victom. I know a lot of people that act like that, and they make me want to punch a baby.

I ABSOLUTELY hate people that do stuff for attention. Like the people that cut themselves for attention. You can always tell them from people that cut themselves for other reasons. If they are doing it for attention, they cut on the top of their arm's, near the elbow, or on the muscle, and they always cut horizontly. People that do it for other reasons, like they are depressed, always cut right on the wrist, and always cut vertically. They are the one's that do it for real, or hoped to do it for real, but didn't quite succeed. Then there are the people that cut becasue of the pain, and the blood. They tend to cut in places you can't really see it, like on their upper thighs, or their upper arms, if they tend to wear long sleeves.

I also hate people that start shit, with no intention of going through with it. I can't count all the times that somebody has picked a fight with me, and they never showed up. They are all talk, and no action. I just want to teach them a major lesson, by knocking their fucking heads in.

Sorry, I'm just in a really bad mood. I needed to vent.

Thinks for listening to all my bullshit! :D

you get your fix from confrontation

I hate the holidays. For most families its a joyus time for sharing, and spending time with loved ones. For my family, its all about the fighting. Its not even Thanksgiving Day yet, and my mom has started crying, my dad has yelled at me to do something 5 times, and my brother has decided to bring his daughter to our house.

Every year we have to try and keep my mother from freaking out. Nothing ever helps, and she always ends up crying, screaming, and throwing stuff. Every year David retreats to the comfort of his room, and leaves me to deal with it by myself. If my sister has done anything smart in her life, its this, she hasn't been around for Thanksgiving for 5 years running. She's lucky she dosn't have to deal with it.

In lighter news, we beat Mr. Polson in Trivial Persuit yesterday, he says it was a tie, but WE got our piece of the pie WAY before he did, so we technally won the game. I think that was the funnest day in his class in a long time. Which reminds me, I have this really awesome friend named Kenneth, and he is in that class. Happy now, Kenneth? lol

My cat damn near caught a mouse a little while ago. It was funny, because he tried to get under the couch, and he is WAY too fat to fit under there. I congratulated him by telling him he almost did good, not quite, but almost.

Well, THEY are yelling at me again. Gotta go do an obscene amount of unnecessary work.

Unhappy holidays to everybody.

When life hands you lemons, squeez the juice in other people'e eyes'

Right now I am forcing down my dinner. I don't like to eat, but its necessary to live, so I tend to eat as little as possible. Today I had a sandwich, some tortilla chips, and... whatever I'm having for dinner. Mom SAYS its chicken pompai, but I don't believe a word she says. It's ok, but it has a lot of texture, and not in a good way.

I had to take an advanced bio. test today. I'm pretty sure I flunked it, but what eva, I do wat I want! lol, so gangster. I started my paper for college english, which sucked. And for some reason Mr. Polson smelled my shoes. It was kinda creepy. I guess I lied in the former paragraph, I had pie for breakfest. But only like 4 bites, because most of them tasted like ass, and the pie that was good was still frozen, thank you Mrs. Walbridge. We did get to make ice cream, which didn't set up right, and was more like a milkshake. Plus there was WAY too much vanilla in ours, so I dumped what was left in Mr. Polson's trash can.

We got to have a very special scholars' bowl parctice. It was students v.s. teachers. We were pretty much fairly matched. And one round we should have won, we lost because Clare forgot to clear the buzzer, and Mrs. Cleavinger buzzed in ahead of Brad. It was bullshit, and the question should have been thrown out, but Mrs. Booth dosn't play by the rules when its all about her friends.

I threw on the wheel for the first time today, that was interesting. Mz. Scott kept calling me chicken arms, and nothing I tried worked. So I just gave up. Ceramics has never been my strong point, so I havn't really made anything in a really long time. What ever, I don't really care. I'm a perfectionest non-compleater.

Mr. Polson smells... sorry, I couldn't come up with anything witty to say.

Sorry if I smell like a bar... Jessica's family is good company to keep

So I saw New Moon this weekend. Countless shirtless scenes, rushed plot-lines, and a few corney scenes later, it wasn't a half bad movie. There were a few times I wanted to slap the director in the face, and tell him to learn to make a movie, but it was pretty good none the less. Jacob was pretty freaking hot, and I wanted to lick the water right off his shoulders. It was funny too, lots of jokes said at just the right time. I think this director was much better then the last one, I truthfully didn't like Twilight AT ALL. But what eva, I do what I want.

Apprently I'm right, but for some reason, it feels like its a worthless win. Keeping to my word I would like to formally appoligize to Mr. Polson for all the mean, and sometimes hurtful, things I have said about, and to, him over the last couple of days. I havn't been feeling well, and it was effecting my mood. And now I feel really bad, because I found out that something happened to Mr. Polson's mother, who just had surgery a few days ago, and he had to take her to the hospital. My condolences.

I'm very surprised in myself. This week I have literally smoked less than I did last Saturday alone. I was very shocked to find this out. Not once since I started to smoke regularly have I done that before. Maybe that's why I was in such a bad mood this past week... We may never know. However, Nichole did piss me off. But thats a story for another paragraph.

She broke into my locker and stole my makeup and nail-polish. Then she stole it again during Advanced Lit. and didn't even tell me. I guess it didn't tip her off that I was pissed at her when I called her a bitch and told her to stay the hell out of my stuff. Maybe if I had slamed her head into the brick wall, like I wanted to, that would have made my point more clear. But you can't win them all, can you?

OMFG I got to meet Jessica's step-brother for the first time face-to-face this weekend, can you say SEXY?! Unlike Ashlee, though, I tend to be more comfertable around people I don't know, and was able to really get to know him in the short time I got to spend with him. He is HILARIOUS, and gergous, and really nice. Plus we have a similar taste in music, and he was the only person to really like my new nail-polish, which, if I do say so myself, is AWESOME! He's an actor, and a model, and he works at the CheeseCake Factory, so he always smells delicious. His room is a mess though, that's something that really bothered me. I couldn't even walk in there, and there were dirty underwear on the middle of his bed. GROSS!

Oh well, if I think of more things to add I will do so in another post.

Fuzzy kittens rule the world.

The bottle of Beam kept the memories from me

Cry in your emo cornor, jack ass! lol, funist part of my day! Well, not really, but it was pretty freaking funny. And I know I'm still right, and your wrong, so just admit it, and tell me your sorry, and I will stop calling you bad names, otherwise, I'm not going to stop. :D

I'm kinda happy! We didn't have to take our Biology test today, so I'm taking back all the mean things I said about Mrs. Cleavinger yesterday. (And I would apoligize to Mr. Polson too, if he would admit I'm right...) She gave us an extra day of review, and we re-took a quiz that EVERYBODY in the class failed, and I missed it by 1 FREAKING POINT! That ticked me off. After that my blood sugar started to go low, because I tend not to eat anything until lunch, which sucks on purple days, because I have late lunch, and therefor don't eat until 1.

Mrs. Cleavinger laughed today, I mean ACUTALLY laughed. She dosn't laugh often, espically when its about jokes made by her students. But the joke Nichole told today got her laughing. It goes a little something like this:

We were sitting at table 6, by the door. Nichole was dizzy, and I was seeing lights, and shaking really bad. Mrs. Cleavinger walked by and asked what is wrong, so we told her. She told me that my blood sugar was most likely low, and that she recomended I eat something before her class from now on. Nichole then asked what was wrong with her. Mrs. Cleavinger told her it was most likely a virus. Nichole then says, "Those dang viruses! I can't pass their quizes, and now they are bothering me!" Which is funny only because Nichole has taken the Virus quiz 6 times, and has yet to pass it. HAHAHA, only funny if you were there, I guess.

We didn't really do much else today. But I did find a stray tampon in the girls bathroom. Just in case, I guess. It wasn't used, it was just a tampon, in it's wraper, sitting on top of the trashcan. Isn't that thoughtful?

I made a pie in Teens Today, it was freaking tasty too. I firmly believe that anything with whipped cream in it is delicious! Then we got into talking about beastility, and things just went down hill from there. Don't even ask how we got to talking about it, I wouldn't be able to tell you if I tried.

I dug a hole too! That wasn't really fun, and I got dirt, and vasalene all over my hands. Not a good mix, trust me. I also got in a mud fight, and accidently got mud in Chandler's eye, my bad. The reason we were digging holes was so that we could place the stepping stones in the senior sidewalk.

Well, that's about all I did. I'm going to go see NEW MOON tomorrow night, and I'm UBER excieted about that! I like the Twilight Saga, but I don't like the merchandization of it. I hate the fact that it has become a product, and all that crap.

What ever, I'm outtie 5000 homedogs.

I can feel those sad memories, still haunting me.

Yeah, so I'm right, and he is wrong. Yippie for me being smrt... I mean, smart. :D

MR. POLSON, who promised not to read my blog, did read it, the basterd. I HOPE YOU READ THAT! lol, just kidding! He did read the blog, but he isn't a basterd, but his class is boring! still. And he was wrong about the whole "graveyard shift" thing we faught about today. So WHATEVER, I'm right, and your WRONG!

My toes are cold. I don't know why I'm telling you this, but they are. And now they arn't, because I got my cat to lay on them. Ahhh, fuzzy warmth.

Today was moderately boring, to say the least. The only "excieting" thing I did was paint my logo on the senior board. I had Callee draw it out for me. It's a yin-yang, because that has C and S in it, and then there is a B like shape after the S shape in the middle, with swarls, and stars, and spikes. It's preety freaking BA, if you ask me.

I did think it pretentious of some of the people in my class to rig the senior board rotation for their benifit. They made sure they got it almost first, all in a row, so that they could get all their logo's on the same portion of the board. How thoughtful to the rest of the class... dousche bags. I hate a lot of people in my class. Maybe "hate" is a strong word for it, but I do feel that way a lot of the time. Espically when they try to act like they are my friends. They don't know anything about me, which is why they fucked up the mock elections. God damn pricks. RAWR it pisses me off like nobodies mother!

Let me have a soothing breath... ahhhh, much better. I'm clam(er). I didn't do much else along the lines of "fun" today. I have a biology test tomorrow that I'm going to FLUNK! I think everybody in the class is going to flunk, mostly because Mrs. Cleavinger is a BITCH who dosn't know how to put a review together. I sware, the crossward's in that thing are all screwed up, and have no purpose being there but to piss us off. Ok, I lied , I'm not calm. I want to punch somebody in the head.

I guess I surpirsed some people lately. They don't know much about my life outside of school, and finding out that I've "been around the block a few times" seems to shock the hell outta them. Well I have news for you, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK. It's my life, and I will lead it as I see fit.

Well I gotta go harvest my crops.

Grease out home skillets.

I can smell the death on the sheets.

So I had a pretty interesting day. It started out pretty slow, I woke up at about 6:30, but was still tired, so I went back to sleep, and woke up at 7. I got ready, and went out to wait for the bus (yes I am still riding the bus thanks to my good-for-nothing father.). It wasn't until I got to school that my day changed.

I got to school at about 7:50 or so, and went straight to my locker. For some strange reason, one of my used-to-be-friends-but-arn't-really-anymore friends was being very forthcomming to talk to me and another friend. I think it has to do with the fact that we are spending next weekend at the other firends dad's house, and the used-to-be-friends-but-arn't-really-anymore didn't want to be left out. So that was strange. Another thing was that Nichole wasn't here today. Which bothered me because I have 3 classes with her, and didn't want to be bored.

In first block, Mz. Scott made me wedge clay. I HATE clay, it makes my hands dry out, and I hate the feel of it. And after I did that, she made me make a pinch pot. Lets just say, I've put on more than enough lotion today. Plus I almost punched half the people in my class in the face because they were annoying me.

In second block, Colton and I damn near got seperated... again. Mrs. Walbridge dosn't like us sitting next to eachother, because we are very... well "friendly." If you catch my drift. :D I brought Pop-corn for the whole class, because we are all starving by that time for lunch.

Lunch was interesting, as it allways is when I have lunch with Callee, she has so many stories. That used-to-be-friends-but-arn't-really-anymore friend literally BEGGED me for a chocolate covered cherry. So I gave her one after I scored 2 points by tossing a wraper down her top! GOAL!

Pera was o.k. I had to wedge clay again, which I HATED, but still fun. I got a little bit of Biology done, which is a good thing. lol I then got to give stickers to the little kids, and mean ol' me took one away from a kid who wasn't working. haha, its like taking candy from a baby. LITERALLY!

Mr. Polson's class was just like it always is, boring. I tried to get him to bump up the activities in class to make it more interesting, but he only made that a once a week kind of thing. LAME! I did catch a nap on the couch in the backroom though, which was a good thing, because I was TIRED!

Portfolio class was probably the most interesting part of my whole day. I watched Callee and Malissa use cum... I mean... watered down glue to cover "planets" for their science class. I helped Kayla use lanolium ink to paint her "Fairy Book." And had a very interesting conversation with Mz. Scott about q-tip fetishes... Turns out she has one. Creepy! I will never be able to look at her cleaning her ears out with a straight face again. I'll just bust up every time! We also had a spinning contest, I won!

After school we had a snow-ball fight. Which really wasn't a snow-ball fight, because it was pretty much ice balls, and damn did they HURT!

Well thats about everything. My life is simple, as you can tell. And not a lot happens. But this was a pretty fun day in my books.

Peace out cub scout.

marshmellow fluff and peanutbutter sandwich

My parents decided to abandon me this weekend, for they would rather hunt a deer than spend any amount of time with their loving daughter. How rude! To quote little Michelle from Full House. So I am forced to feed myself. I had the before mentioned sandwich for a snack, a piece of pizza for lunch, and a chicken salad for dinner. I wouldn't have to have such lank meals if my parents would go grocery shopping once in awhile.

Well I havn't bloged in awhile, so I'd better catch you up on the happenings in my life...

My Art teacher decided that painting would be a good thing for me to try. YIKES! I have never been a strong painter, so this should be interesting. I couldn't pick something to paint, so she sent me out with a camera, and told me to take pictures. Now I have one that I'm going to work with. I was creeping around a corner, and took the picture of the Art room from outside. I love being a creeper, it has a world of possibilities to it. I took damn near 50 pictures, and some were just weird shots I thought interesting. I have always found photography interesting, but never have found the time for it. Mz. Scott thinks that I have a good eye, and would like to add some of the photographs to my portfolio. Oh well, what she says goes I suppose. lol that rhymes!

What else? I have talked to my English teacher about allowing my class to watch Strangers on a Train at the end of the semester. He was all for the idea, it just happens to be one of his favorite movies of all time. He's also holding my papers until I turn 2 back papers into him. My bad, sorry I'm such a slacker. His class gets more interesting every day. I have recently noticed how much we talk about sex in that class. We have jurnals we have to turn in every week. And for last week sex came up 3 times in my writings. But we talk about it so much more than that. We even categorized the different ways sex is part of teenage life. That was interesting, Mr. Polson had to take off his glases and hold his eyes to keep from thinking about it. YEAH FOR US! :D We creeped out a teacher! Thats hard to do, espically with Mr. Polson, he is very immature.

Let's see... In scholars' bowl we have a whole new setup. Mr. Miller downloaded a whole new program which allows points for every person on the team, and not just the people that are quickest on the buzzer. Its really fun, and we all enjoyed it.

Well I have to go now, I have a bag of pop-corn and a movie calling my name.

Do work mini horse!

What makes a true friend???

If you know me at all, you would think only one name when asked who you thought to be my best friend. However, you would be wrong. Many people assume that Nichole is my best friend. But truthfully, she isn't. My best friend goes by the name... well, I'm just not going to tell you that.

I have been thinking recently what makes a friend a friend. And there are many different answers to that question. I believe that a friend is somebody you know hands down, all their flaws, all their secrets, and all their favorite things. There is only one person that I can think of that fits all these qualifications. He, is my best friend.

Yes my best friend is a guy. I have known him for a long time. I know everything about him, and I can't go a day without talking to him in one form or another. We have done anything you can think of doing with a true friend and then some.

Some things that make a friend are: being able to tell eachother EVERYTHING, without the worry of being judged by that person. My BFF and I have no secrets. We are always dishing about our love lifes, and no, he isn't gay. We both know the exact time, place, and person we each lost our virginity to. We both know the first time one of us smoaked a cigerette, drank an acholic beverage, got in trouble with the law, got in trouble with our parents, or did any kind of drug. We know the name of every person the other kissed, held hands with, etc. We know all our favorite movies, music, clubs, stores, T.V. shows, food, drinks, also an etc. And most importintly, we know all the things that make the other laugh, cry, jump for joy, deperssed, or angry.

Sharing is another all important aspect of friendship. There was one time when I was sleeping at his house, and there was only one open bed. We couldn't decide who was going to take the bed. So we shared it. We have shared food, blankets, cloths, and interests. I can name countless movies, music, and games that we have both got the other interested in. We share everything including secrets.

Honesty is also important. I don't think I have ever lied to him about ANYTHING. And I hope he has never lied to me. We have shared our deepest, darkest secrets, and have never shared them with anybody. We both know what the others ambitions are, what we want to accomplish, if it be career, family, money, or anything else, we know.

I think its safe to say that we love eachother. Not in any romantic way, of course, but as family. He has come to call my mom "Mom," and I call his mom either "Mom," or "Aunt _____."

Tell me about your best friend? Do you compare to us? Or do you have your own idea of what a "true friend" is?

Cheers

New pants, New hair

So my weekend pretty much SUCKED, to say the least. Friday after school, I had to come straight home and pack all the girls stuff. And let me tell you this. They have a lot of stuff. 2 tubs (2 feet deep, 2 feet wide, and 5 feet long) of cloths, 2 4 foot by 4 foot boxes of toys, 3 bikes, and endless bags of stuffed animals, puzzles, cards, coloring books, crayons, markers, etc. Lets just say, that took awhile. Then I didn't get to bed until 11, because Keely wouldn't fall asleep.

Saturday I had to wake up early and load all of the girls things into my dad's van. Then I had to bath and dress them. Then I had to add a bunch of stuff in the van for my sister and the girls' mother. Mom and Dad finally left at 11, deciding to stay overnight where ever they could, because they wouldn't be back until late anyway. So I had the house to myself. I hate it when that happens.

Most teenagers love it when they get to stay home alone. Not this teenager. When I "get" to stay home alone, I have to clean. Which includes: the kitchen (dishes, counters, floors, oven and stove, refrigerator, trash, and cabinets.), the laundry room (cat box, floor, under the washer and dryer, under the water heater, and the shelfs), my parents bedroom (wash their sheets, make their bed, vacume the floor, trash out from under the bed, and dust EVERYTHING), the living room (vacume, dust, clean out from under the couch and computer desk, and rearrange the furniture and pictures on the walls.), the back poarch (clean under the back fridge and chest freezer, clean off the cabinets, clean out the shelfs, sweep and mop the floor, and wash the celing tiles.) and the bathroom (clean behind the toilet, under the toilet, in the toilet, clean the bathtub, clean the sink, polish the glass, and sweep and mop.)

Needless to say, I was busy all weekend. You might be wondering why I even do it, if its just REDONKULESS? Well, I have things I want to do with my spare time. And if I want the privilege of doing them, I have to do ALL my work. Don't you just love your parents now? You could've been stuck with MINE!

Well I just got done loading the papers for recycling in my dad's van, and now I have to get his dinner ready.

Cheers for now.

It's a pretty day to die...

Please don't take my title serously, I'd hate to have my guidence counsler knocking my door in because he thinks I'm suciedal... which isn't far from the truth anyway, but I'm not going to go around killing myself just yet. I have a few things I want to do first.

Well today is the last day. My nieces are leaving tomorrow, and I can't wait. I spent about 3 hours getting everything ready to leave. And now I'm still waiting on Keely to fall asleep. The little b*t*h wont go to sleep. I've been after her for 3 hours now, and have literally taned her ass once already. Hasn't worked yet. So now I'm telling her that if she isn't alseep, she isn't going to go home tomorrow. Which we wont keep her anyway. But she dosn't know that, so its all good.

Now you are probably thinking, "spanking children is bad." Well I have news for you, IT WORKS. When I was a kid, I knew when I did something bad, because I would walk away with a red ass, or a mouth full of bubbles. My mom only spanked us once, and she cried the whole time. She was beat with everything immagianable when she was a kid, and dosn't want us to go through the same thing. My dad was beat too, but he knows that its a good way to get your children to listen. I personally think it works. Talking works, if you do it all the time, but these girls mother dosn't even discipline them for the worst things, let alone for the little ones. So they are wild. They color on furniture, they say dirty words (today Keely said that her cooter hurt, and that she had to pee. I was like WTF?! I didn't know what a cooter was until I was 9, she is 4.), they hit, they make threats, and they back-talk. If you tell them to stop, they don't, and if you put them in time out, they just sit there, get out, and do it again. Verbal discipline has no merit with these children.

Well there is my stern talking to for the day. Today I decieded to try and paint something. I'm going to start it on Monday. I am kinda worried about it, I have never been a strong painter, I mostly work with graphite, and dabble in photography, scratchboard, and extream collage. I'm trying this so that I have things to add to my portfolio. I need to have it in by Febuary, at least, to get good scholarships. Mz. Scott wants me to have a diverse portfolio, so that I can get the most out of what I got.

Well I'm tired, and my nieces have finally gone to sleep. So I'm going to leave the computer now, and go watch some television in my own bed. I miss my bed. I never get to sleep there anymore.

Cheers.

What the buck Wednesday... Oh wait... its Thursday?

So, I'm kinda off on my days. I tend to go by my computer, but it was down yesterday, so I was unable to do practally anything, except play solitare, which isn't very fun after the hundredth round. I was, however, able to finish a hundred word essay for College English. Its not much, an analysis of the guitar. I don't think I can post it though, as I said, my computer deserves to be punched in the face.

Well, I have been volenteered to design something else, but this time I get something out of it. I'm designing our T-shirts for Scholars' Bowl. Yes, I am a nerd. We are going to have a very long and complicated Calculas problem, with Einstein pointing at it saying, "Oh yeah, that's our I.Q." The funny thing about it is that the problem equals zero! :D Arn't we cleaver?

What else is interesting in my life? I signed up to take my ACT... Again. Thats a God forsaken test if you ask me. I have taken it only once, because the second time I took it, I didn't get to take it, because the people were being stupid. The only good thing about it is that I get to take the test for $20 off the original price. Good bye $31 test, hellow $11 test!!!

My nieces are going home this weekend, FINALLY! I blame my mother for all of us going crazy for the past 2 weeks. They both had to go to bed early today because Zaylah was backtalking. Not a good idea in my house, I know, I've gotten the snot slapped out of me more than once for it.

So I brought up my Advanced Biology grade. It was a F, but now its a C! :D Way to pick up the pace when your ass in on the line for college. I figured out that if I keep doing as well as I am right now, I could have a B or a low A by the end of the semester! Hell yeah! That would be the best grade I have gotten in a science class since the... 8th grade? Wow, I suck, espically since I want to major in Forensic Science.

We had a long conversation with our English teacher today. He didn't feel well, so instead of teaching, he answered questions. What ever question we had, he answered to the best of his ability. He did one hell of a job too, if you ask me. He isn't afrade to go beyond the bounds of the student-teacher-conversation methods. He talked to us about drinking, smoaking, partying, and even a little about sex. He is the coolest teacher, and I think I love him... But not in a creepy way. More like a friend kind of love, maybe a sibling kind of love, but definatly not a sexual love. He is a father, and I see him as a father figure. My dad is more like a friend than a father. He isn't serious about anything, and often is more immature than I am. So I see a lot of teachers to me parent figures, at least for a father, my mom is pretty much a mom. Nothing more. Some people consider her to be a cool mom, but I think that she just dosn't want us to grow up in the same kind of house-hold she grew up in. And she does one hell ofa job at it too.

Well thats all for tonight. I talked a lot about everthing, and everything about nothing. So I believe my work is done.

Cheers.

Tuesday Madness.

As I sit and eat my mini corn dogs, while listening to my nieces blather on about absolutely nothing of importance. I wonder how, and when, life became so damn complicated? As we grow older, our bodies practally decaying while we still occupy them, our words and actions become something that people analyze, and brakdown, trying to grasp our reasoning. But our reasoning is our own, the things that happen in our own minds arn't ment to be understood by others, that would mean that we could share thoughts, and that scares me. Not juat a little, but a whole hell of a lot.

To think of the reasoning behind some of the poeple in our history's thoughts. What if we had been able to see, and understand, the reasoning behind Hitlers thoughts, and actions. Would history have turned out differently? Would it have actually been something understandable, the reason he killed, or ordered the death, of so many innocent people? Thats a question for the ages.

Sorry about the spiel, I was feeling insightful, which tends to happen sometimes. Now on to less important things, whats happening in my, so called, life. I got pretty pissed off today, twice. The first was when my friend Nichole decieded to volenteer me to draw something out for a teacher at our school. She wanted it done for her daughters room. It was her daughters name, Stephanie (a god forsaken name when trying to make it fit in with a design.), with a skull on one side, and a heart with a banner and wings underneith it. I finished it up, and I, personally, though it looked like shit. I have never been able to accept my own artwork as anything more than medioker, I believe that I have no artistic ability at all, but people keep volenteering me for shit like this, so I don't get to escape from it.

The second reason I got pissed was also because of Nichole... Maybe its not a good idea to spend too much time with her, I might end up droping her ass one of these days. What she did was break a flower. Now I know that dosn't sound like anything HUGE, but it was, espically since it was in Biology class, and it was for a grade to disect the flower, without ruining it. Well guess what, we got docked points because her stupid ass couldn't do anyting right. Not only did she break the flower, but she tried to tape it back together, which pulled off the epidermus of the flower, costing even more points. To make matters worse, that was the only thing she did for the entire lab. I did all the work, taking the flower apart, labeling the parts, making wet-mount slides of the pollen, answering all the questions, and talking the teacher out of only docking minimum points. We ended up with 38/40, because I'm a sweet talker.

Well thats about all thats going on right now. Maybe one of these days I will post pictures of my, lame, artwork... just a thought.

Cheers

My bad Monday...

Today I made the mistake of telling one of my teachers that I have a blog... oops on my part. I forgot just how much I mention in my blog... espically since very few people in my school know that I smoke. Its a nasty habit, but I just can't picture how stressed out I would be without it.

Have you ever taken a stress test? The results are brutal. I found out that I sould be locked up and have the key thrown into a dragon's den, and covered in poop, so that nobody would dare to try and help me escape. They said that 300 was bad, and that if it is that high you should be in a hospital, or seek medical attention immeditly. Mine was 895. Oh the life I lead.

I realized that my blog makes my life seem never endlessly ammusing, but it really isn't. I just happened to start my blog on a good week, when a lot of intresting things were happening in my life. I have no idea what I would do if my life was alway like that. Probably kill myself just to get away from the never ending struggle to keep going all the time.

Have you ever had one of those moments when you realized that your life just compleatly sucks? I had about 3 yesterday. The first was when my mom woke me up at 8 o'clock to take the trash out. And I woke right up, and did it, after my dad threatened to come upstairs and drag me out of bed, that is. And he would have done it too, he has before, so as soon as I heard him on the stairs I booked it down past him, saying that I was just trying to stretch.

The second was when I checked my Facebook at about noon, and the only notifications were from Farmville, saying that my crops were ready to harvest, from Cafe world, saying that my food was ready to serve, and from a group I ment to quit a long ago, telling me that they are looking for a new admin. Some people use Facebook as a way to get in touch with friends, and such, I use it to play games.

The third was when I took my nieces out for a SECOND time. I then realized that my life sucked, and I have literally no friends. Even when I am hanging out with people, I never really feel comfertable around them. I would very much rather be sitting alone, reading a book, then messing around with a group of people that I barely know, and that know me even less.

I don't like to let people into my little depressing bubble. They would just be too saddened by my lack of... well anything, really. For my human interaction I tend to go places where I am less likely to see people I know, like college frat parties. Then I can do just about anything I want, and don't have to worry about the word getting spread around like wild fire. I hate gossip, but it pretty much rules our world, so I have learned to just live with it, and take it as it comes.

I realize that I have gone on and on about almost nothing that was on the same topic, but thats just how my brain works. So get used to it.

Peace out, cub scout.

Whats a weekend without family drama?

Today my mom went on a cleaning binge... What fun. We cleaned everything, including the molding on the walls, and the underside of all the cabanets. She is insane, so we have to go through this about once a month.

I always look forward to Sundays, its the one day a week when I get my Postsecret fix. I'm addicted, I know, but I can't help it. I don't think anybody can.

It was pretty nice outside today, so I took the girls out twice, that way I could escape my mother, and have a smoke break. We met some girls in the neighborhood, and they commented on how tall Keely is. She looks to be about the size of a 7 or 8 year old, but is only 4. She is one big girl. Zaylah is crying now, because she wants her mother... God forbid they go a week or two without her. They don't even get to live with her, because she is unfit. So they must cry a lot.

I got to be part of the gossip at the gas station today. You've all seen it, old people stand up there and talk for hours at a time. I got to put in my two cents, about some kids being prego, and how young they are, and how they arn't going to be able to take it. We have a pretty high pregency rate, but we don't get to be on the top 10, because there are so few people in our school. They go by every 1,000, and we don't have that many people in our entire district. But who cares, we just love the gossip. Small town life, what would we be without you?

My mother would like for me to tell you that the life we lead isn't normal. But I think being normal is over rated. I don't want to fit in, I like to be who I am, and not who people want me to be. Its more fun that way.

Well I better get going, I have to ride the bus in the morning!!! YEAH FOR ME!!! not... I hate the bus. But that what I get for having dead beat parents.